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Definitions

This really is a "Mormon" joke. Just keep reading...

MARXISM-COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.
The Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have two cows.
The Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have two cows.
The Government takes both and shoots you.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead. You ask the government to bail you out.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows.
None of the cows belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

A DEMOCRAT:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.
You claim government subsidies for eight cows.

A JEWISH FARMER
You have two cows.
You use them as a down payment to buy 100 more.

A MORMON FARMER
You have eight cows.
You get married.

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