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Mormon Football

Mormon Football!

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the closing song.

Draw Play - What the Primary children do with the bulletin during Sacrament meeting.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the restroom or water fountain during the meeting.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the High Councilor's talk is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The High Councilor loses his notes and falls back on last month's talk.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation when the High Councilor's talk goes into "overtime".

Trap - What happens when you are called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without getting snagged by the Bishop, home teachers, or elder's quorum president.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the meetings to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to stick around for Relief Society or Priesthood meeting.

Blitz - The rush out the door and home to the refrigerator after Fast and Testimony meeting.

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