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A Mother's Dictionary

A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to get pregnant again.

Bottle Feeding:
An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 a.m., too!

What you’d better have around "de yard" if you’re going to let "de children" play outside!

The way in which teething babies wash their chins.

One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning:
The art of spacing your children far enough apart to keep you just on the edge of financial disaster.

The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name:
What a child is called when he or she is in trouble.

The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look Out!:
What it is too late for your child to do by the time you finish screaming it.

An exclamation that roughly translates into "get a washcloth".

When your life was still somewhat your own.

A small body of water that unavoidably attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

Show Off:
A child who is more talented than yours.

What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.

The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.

Temper Tantrums:
What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

A chance to see how many family members can fit into one bed.

Top Bunk:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two-Minute Warning:
When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Able to whine in words.

None of the kids that live in your house.

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