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New Utah Town Discovered
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - State officials announced today the shocking discovery of a previously unknown Utah town.
The town was discovered by a team of archeologists investigating ancient Indian burial grounds just southwest of Delta, Utah. Said head archeologist I. Diggum, "Our maps showed nothing but barren land. Boy, were we surprised to
cross that ridge and see houses, stores and churches!"
According to town residents, their town is called Zarahemla, and has been called that ever
since its founding in 1852.
State officials have been unable to explain why no official records of the town exist.
"It's a shame," said Bill Um, Director of Utah Finances, "We could have been collecting tax dollars all
this time. We may have to assess them for back taxes."
When asked why they had not made any contact with surrounding cities for over 150
years, Mayor Iso Late replied, "I guess we never got around to it."
The isolation of the town has provided scientists with a unique opportunity to study social and
technological growth of a controlled population. Cut off from civilization for 150 years, the only technological
advancements made were those accomplished by town residents.
As expected, scientists discovered that automobiles, televisions, central air-conditioning, spandex, and ice-cream
are among some of the technologies never achieved by this isolated colony.
Unhampered by regulation and monopoly power, however, several technologies have apparently evolved faster
than in the rest of civilization. Explains Mayer Late, "We've had high-speed internet access for over
three decades now.
Editor's note: This article first appeared in the Mormon Zone on July 30, 1999. Since then, the town of Zarahemla has, unfortunately, once again been lost.
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This is a parody article intended for entertainment only and does not document real events or persons. In other words, this is
fiction. Copyright 1999, 2009 by The Mormon Zone. All rights reserved.