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New Vehicle Targets Large Families
DEARBORN, MI - Ford Motor Company announced today it plans
to build a new line of vehicles targeted at large
The first model, to be called the "Mormavan", will
reach the streets as early as this October and is
expected to produce brisk sales throughout the LDS
The Mormavan's roomy interior seats 20 and comes equipped standard with 67
drink holders, 3 car seats, a 12-way intercom system,
and a Teen-Sound (tm) isolation chamber to allow
simultaneous enjoyment of both "rock" and
Options packages allow the
standard seating to be extended to 24. Also
available is the new People-Count system to allow
drivers to quickly determine the number of passengers
without having to resort to the "count-off"
method currently used.
Ford officials expect an
updated version of this technology to be available by
the end of the year that will help eliminate current
problems with false detection of non-family members such
as neighborhood kids and
Trading in Ford stock (F)
today was mixed, with some investors concerned about an
apparent design defect that may hurt sales. The
standard Mormavan is 26 ft. long and may not fit in the
average Mormon garage which is 24 ft. Other investors were not
concerned. Said Charles Smith, a major Ford
stockholder, "Mormons love to remodel. This
may actually be a positive for sales. Besides,
Mormons never use their garages for cars
Editor's note: This article first appeared in the Mormon Zone on July 8, 1999. Sales have been brisk.
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This is a parody article intended for entertainment only and does not document real events or persons. In other words, this is
fiction. Copyright 1999, 2009 by The Mormon Zone. All rights reserved.