Global Warming Sparks Lime Jello Riots
The news of the impending disaster has created panic and riots in cities across Utah, the state with the nation's leading per-capita consumption of lime Jello. In Spanish Fork, a normally sleepy cowboy town, gunfire erupted at the local Macey's when a fight broke out over the last available box of the concoction in the Intermountain West.
LDS Church leaders have for years counseled their members to store a year's supply of the state's main food staple, warning them to prepare against a future disaster of Biblical proportions. "That day has come," said an anonymous official LDS church spokesman.
In desperation, many Mormon wards across the state are cancelling their annual pot-luck Christmas parties, hoping to preserve critical supplies until the United Nations can implement an announced socialist rescue program for the state.
This is a parody article intended for entertainment only and does not document real events or persons. In other words, this is fiction. Copyright 2009 by The Mormon Zone. All rights reserved.