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Our motto is: News is better when you make it up. Global Warming Sparks Lime Jello Riots  The news of the impending disaster has created panic and riots in cities across Utah, the state with the nation's leading per-capita consumption of lime Jello. In Spanish Fork, a normally sleepy cowboy town, gunfire erupted at the local Macey's when a fight broke out over the last available box of the concoction in the Intermountain West. LDS Church leaders have for years counseled their members to store a year's supply of the state's main food staple, warning them to prepare against a future disaster of Biblical proportions. "That day has come," said an anonymous official LDS church spokesman. In desperation, many Mormon wards across the state are cancelling their annual pot-luck Christmas parties, hoping to preserve critical supplies until the United Nations can implement an announced socialist rescue program for the state. This is a parody article intended for entertainment only and does not document real events or persons. In other words, this is fiction. Copyright 2009 by The Mormon Zone. All rights reserved. |
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