TRANSYLVANIA - Each year millions of children look forward to the one day when they can get all the free candy they want. This year will be different. Halloween has been cancelled.
"Bummer!," said 21-year-old Mike Smith, "I'm starting to get too old for this. I'm afraid this year was my last chance to convince people I'm young enough to go trick-or-treating." Smith now plans on staying home and watching Sesame Street reruns.
Stores across the nation are bracing for an onslaught of candy and costume returns. "If Christmas also gets cancelled, we may go bankrupt," said Ginger Beadstrom, CEO of a major retail chain. "We'd sue someone if we knew who did it."
Indeed, nobody seems to know who halted the decades-old tradition. "I don't know who did it, but it's about time," said one parent, "I only wish we'd known about this before we got all the costumes made."
Calls made to households across the nation which normally participate in the annual tradition remain unanswered.
In spite of the holiday being cancelled, some trick-or-treaters may still attempt to get free candy. Persons are urged to remain indoors, keep their doors locked and not answer their doorbells this weekend.
Editor's note: This article first appeared in the Mormon Zone on October 29, 1999.
This is a parody article intended for entertainment only and does not document real events or persons. In other words, this is fiction. Copyright 1999, 2009 by The Mormon Zone. All rights reserved.